I woke up depressed. I knew it wasn’t logical, nothing was wrong (this isn’t a pity post, just me sharing my reflections). It was my birthday I should be happy, I was greeted with lots of love from my two girls – HAPPY birthday DADDY and Ariella hugged me knowing that it was a special day…

 

Yet inside I was feeling flat, sad and emotional… “oooohhh what’s going on subconsciously?” said the coach in me, so I sat down and reflected a lot. Nothing came up. So I dug a little deeper (which was hard to do when also looking after my little girl for the day!)

 

It started to make sense, I started to get it…

 

You see, one part of me was comparing what success I “should be at” by this age.

 

It’s funny how age often does that. Subconsciously we have an internal ‘benchmark’ of where we believe we should get to by certain points in our life.

 

The other part of me, the voice of reason and wisdom, gave me a bit of a slap across my face. In the last 14 months I have been learning about what it means to be a dad and husband, what it takes to be a team player in the relationship, what it means to put my silly “stuff” or the little child in me who needs attention aside for a woman who is learning to be a mum and for our precious daughter who needs what she needs when she needs it.

 

While that has been going on, I have run my business and grown it, I managed to launch in the USA and we had a wonderful lifestyle year. We didn’t feel the pinch of the little one arriving or my wife stopping working, and we found even more quality time and the business grew…

 

We travelled more than we ever did. We had everything we needed, each other, time and lots of love with the cash flow to back it.

 

Even so, these feelings came up. The dangerous thing about comparison and an idea of what success ‘should’ look like, is it can feel deflating, as when is enough enough? If I look at others I aspire to, of course it can feel depressing and that was what my subconscious was doing, it was running a comparison program. This thinking can creep on you so subconsciously, and I am glad my voice of wisdom is a lot stronger and louder!

 

I stopped and smiled, as I stood there at softplay watching my little girl talking to herself, smiling away and looking at me with unconditional love. ‘Isn’t that success?’ my voice of wisdom said…

 

As we move out of our house this week because it has got too small, it has been a away for my subconscious to clear the way for the next chapter of what is to come. As a father, a husband and an entrepreneur.

 

The feeling of depression wasn’t logical but it was there none the less. Lucky I have the voice of wisdom inside of me to remind what being successful really means. That’s the voice worth listening to.

 

 

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​Thriving Entrepreneurs Conference - 1st Feb 2019